Suffice it say: We don’t really do the Bieber around here. We typically only listen to shit that kicks either fucking major ass or assaults our senses with raw, unfiltered emotions. In fact, I’ve never ever heard a Justin Bieber song in my life, I’ve only heard secondhand how tragically terrible they are. But whatever you say about his music, you gotta admit, for being a rail skinny, lesbian haired 17-year-old Canadian, the Bieb has his life pretty much dialed in. He’s getting balls deep in an almost equally rich and famous older woman, Selena Gomez (the bikini clad vixen in the above pic) and he was recently ranked just behind Oprah and Lady Gaga as the most powerful celebrity in the world, all while maintaining the physique and demeanor of the kids who used to get dunked headfirst into the shitter back when I was in high school. I mean, check it out: dude is kicking it on the beach in Hawaii with his latina beezy, making more money on vacation than your entire family will make in their collective lifetimes and isn’t even trying to hide the fact that the only weight he ever lifts are his own balls when his personal stylist waxes his taint. Haters gonna hate.
