As so eloquently pointed out by the Curb Your Enthusiasm clip above, not all vaginas are created equal: some are bigger than others. And some, like the veritable storage shed of a vagina described below, are well, huge:
Karin Mackaliunas, 27, of Scranton, Pennsylvania, crashed her car on Sunday evening. Just as she was ready to leave the scene of the accident, Dunmore police Officer Anthony Cali asked Scranton police Officer Nancy Baumann to detain Mackaliunas, according to the Scranton Times-Tribune.
As she was being driven to the police station for a drug possession charge, Officer Baumann noticed Mackaliunas “fidgeting” in the back seat of the police car. After the suspect struggled with the officer during a more thorough exam, Mackaliunas “asked to speak with Sergeant Michael Mayer and told him she had hidden more heroin in her vagina,” the report says. A search of Ms. Mackaliunas by a doctor at Community Medical Center turned up 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22. Look at that list again. That’s 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22. Found. Not hidden on her person. Hidden inside her vagina.
There are lots of juvenile, crude comments involving hot dogs, hallways, donkey shows, etc that could be made here, but I’m just going to let the mind boggle in awe of this stunning feat. I mean, after all, if you got, might as well use it, right
Sometimes I come to work and think, “Man having to write blogs and product descriptions sure is hard!” Go ahead, laugh! But sometimes coming up with 10 different ways to describe the front pockets of a hooded sweatshirt can stress you out. But then I watched this video, which shows the technicians who climb to the top of this 1768 foot guided tower every day, shat brix, and swore I would be forever thankful that my job doesn’t include climbing gigantic structures without the aid of ropes or any sort of safety harness. Granted, these dudes probably rake in trim like it’s fall in a forest of vagina trees, but hey, they can have it man. I’m cool right here on the ground.
So you’re a twentysomething semi-hipster on your summer vacay from your third junior year at the local state college, and you figure, “I’ll go to Lollapalooza and check out Lady Gaga” and you show up early enough to get up front, because hey, if you’re gonna go to Lollapalooza you might as well GO to Lollapalooza. So you’re sitting there, rocking out to “Alejandro” and BAM! a virtually naked Lady Gaga is suddenly straddling you with her beastly vagina mere inches from your face. And for that moment, you’re officially the most stoked dude, probably ever. Congrats, bro!
For some reason, women have gotten the idea in their heads that dudes don’t want to see the outline of their vagina through their pants, protruding like a denim mooseknuckle from tight jeans or hanging like spandex meat curtains in workout pants. Thus, adding another trick to their anatomical deception arsenal, women now have the Camelflage, the original visual privacy undergarment:
These aren’t your ordinary panty, they were specifically designed to smooth out your feminine parts under tight clothing. Yoga and exercise pants, leggings, tight shorts, skinny jeans or even some work trousers can have a shorter inseam. You have enough to worry about these days; the last thing you need to think about is your panties riding up during your cardio kick boxing class.
Personally, I like the look of a decent sized camel toe. You always want to know how deep the water is before you jump in, you know? But hey, to each their own.
Lady Gaga apparently wants to pose in Playboy. Which, of course, begs the question, does anyone actually want to see it? And by it, I mean her vagina:
A source said: “No-one wants her to do it. Her business people are trying to convince her that it could be seen as being a bit lowbrow and cheesy, and will alienate her fans who like her edgy appeal.
“She thinks it will be an experience, and she’s always looking to grow as an artist. She doesn’t think there’s anything distasteful about it. She sees it as just another form of expression.”
The source added: “She’s been chatting with everyone about it all week. She’s always been a fan of Hugh Hefner’s, and his whole sex-as-art kind of thing.
“She’s always looking to shock and entertain, and something like this would be perfect for her. She wants her shoot to be like nothing Playboy has every seen before. If she doesn’t drop it, her nude shoot will be like nothing Playboy has ever seen!”
Yeah it will definitely be something that most dudes who read Playboy have never seen; a recalcitrantly ugly tranny-looking broad that only other women and gay guys find attractive. That will really move some issues man! Besides, you can already find plenty of shots of Gaga’s roast beef everywhere on the internet. Dudes who really feel the need to fap to that can just right-click and spare all the old dudes who still try to get hard to Playboy the trauma of seeing Madonna’s little brother naked in print.
It’s not quite as compelling as that American institution, 2 Girls 1 Cup, or its slimy afterbirth 1 Guy 1 Jar, but 3 Guys, 6 Keyboards is still pretty worth watching, and best of all its definitely SFW; there’s nothing being put into or coming out of anyone’s mouth, vagina, anus or anywhere else (after all, where would 3 guys shove 6 keyboards anyway, unless they were into some super bodymod urethral sounding type shit…I’m sure someone somewhere has done it). Anyway, 3 guys 6 keyboards is just a good old fashioned look at some young kids who smoked enough weed and took enough piano lessons when they were kids and were unemployed enough to learn an entire medley of badass ’80s jams and play them on their wide array of vintage and pseudo-vintage analog synths. These dudes probably took first place in the talent show at their high school and then went home and played WoW till dawn the next day to celebrate. Alas, glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever! Thanks 3 Guys for your contribution to the internet!
