Not being British, I admit to previously only paying very minimal attention to all that arcane and medieval prince so-and-so’s marrying the arch-knave of somewhere-chester’s daughter. It all seemed so damn BRITISH. However, I came across (not literally…) these photos of Kate Middleton – the girl who’s marrying Prince William, Prince Charles’ son and heir to the British throne – cavorting on some boat, doubtlessly doing rich princess shit and it made me think, why don’t they just make her queen now? People would probably respect England a lot more if their queen was some lithe young vixen and not, you know, The Queen. Just an idea…
You ever drink too much Red Bull and think “Holy shit, I’m gonna DIE” but then the rational part of your brain takes over with the whole “No one’s ever died from too much caffeine” train of thought, and you convince yourself to calm down? Well, sorry to harsh your relative mellow, but some dude in England just died. From too much caffeine. FUUUUUUUU:
Michael Lee Bedford, 23, from Mansfield, central England, was at a party in April when he swallowed caffeine powder that a friend bought online for £3.29 ($5.26), Nottingham Coroner’s Court heard Thursday. He washed the powder down with an energy drink, and around 15 minutes later began sweating and vomiting blood. He later died at King’s Mill Hospital in Nottinghamshire, central England, the Nottingham Post reported.The court heard that Bedford ignored the product’s recommendation to take no more than one sixteenth of a teaspoon and instead took two spoonfuls of the powder — ingesting a level of caffeine 70 times more than is usually found in a high-energy drink.
I guess there is a silver lining…if you limit your consumption of energy drinks to the low double figures, you’ll probably be cool, or at least cooler than holmes here. You might just have to vomit a few times and take a burrito to the dome like a log going through a wood chipper. But you probably won’t die. Probably….FUUUUUUUUUUUU
by daniel on September 6, 2010
The Virgin Mary in toast? Jesus in a Cheeto? All other false prophets bow down to this Buzz Lightyear carrot some dude in England recently pulled out of his garden.WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?:
‘My wife, Jane, had asked for some carrots from the garden, so I pulled a few out from the soil,’ said the 68-year-old, from Henley-on-Thames in Oxfordshire.‘When I saw this strange vegetable, the resemblance to Buzz Lightyear hit me straight away and I just thought, “My gosh”.‘I’ve never seen any of the Toy Story films but it was uncanny – it dawned on me immediately. I ran inside and said to the grandchildren, “I’ve got a competition – who can guess which Disney character this is?” Immediately, they all shouted, “Buzz Lightyear!”
All hail Buzz Lightyear carrot.
Just when you think you’ve heard every “something getting stuck in someone’s ass” story the internet has to offer, comes this: In 2005, 35-year-old English woman Cindy Corton was injured in a drunken fall in her friend’s bathroom. Despite complaining of a wound in the flesh of her ass, she was sent home with just some painkillers and probably a super unbodacious hangover. After two years of constant pain, doctors finally figured out that a SIX-INCH-long piece of a broken off toilet brush handle had pierced Corton’s ass and become lodged in her body. Doctors attempted and failed to remove it twice, and on the third attempt Corton died from massive blood loss. So I guess if you’re holding your breath waiting for medical science to cure cancer or discover the secret to immortality, you’re probably going to be waiting awhile, being that this lady had a Subway-sandwich sized piece of of plastic jammed inside of her ass for two full years before doctors figured that shit out.
With the hipster-Paul Bunyan benevolent lumberjack look quickly becoming passé, and the nu-rave neo-sixties Tie-Dye hippie style thankfully DOA, what obscure social and temporal class can male fashionistas draw from next? How about early 20th Century English burn-outs? Check out this gallery of mug-shots of men and women arrested for partying too hard in Birmingham in the early 1900s and TELL me these dudes wouldn’t be burning through gash in modern day Brooklyn? Wanna cop the style? Start with your head by picking up a Brixton hat. And don’t say we never did nothin’ for you. Moar pics after the jump: [click to continue…]
