As you can see in the video, Steve Jester is obviously hammered. But that’s not gonna stand in the way of his plans to jump off Big Sur’s Bixby Bridge with a parachute strapped to his chest. Oh wait, now the cops are here? Better throw in a front flip off the bridge for good measure then soar like an eagle onto the pristinely beautiful beach below. If this dude is this badass when old and drunk, I can’t imagine what he was like in his prime. I’m thinking Stallone in Cliffhanger. Ultime BAMF. A hero to the cowards of the world like myself who can’t even drive over Bixby Bridge without shuddering in sheer horror. However, Jester didn’t escape the long arm of the law for long: he was arrested shortly afterwards on suspicion of DUI, resisting an officer and posession of marijuana. But I’d say it was worth it. What we do in life echoes in eternity!! Or at least for awhile, on the internet.
Surveillance footage on a Russian highway captured this footage of a cop pulling over a motorist (well not so much pulling him over as just making him stop in the middle of the damn highway) for a busted headlight, probably to shake him down for a couple ruples to buy some Stoli to help get him through his shift. But just then, A PACK A FUCKING WOLVES RUN OUT OF THE DARKNESS! Man, I wish this shit would happen in America. Usually the only thing that runs out of the darkness when you get pulled over here are like 45 more cop cars.
Oakland, CA seems like the place to be lately. In the last couple weeks alone, they’ve had riots, snipers, dudes in bulletproof jackets trying to shoot cops and most recently, city council approval of legalized large scale industrial marijuana cultivation. You know, basically all the cool shit:
The city of Oakland, California on Tuesday legalized large-scale marijuana cultivation for medical use and will issue up to four permits for “industrial” cultivation starting next year.The move by the San Francisco Bay Area city aims to bring medical marijuana cultivation into the open and allow the city to profit by taxing those who grow it.The resolution passed the city council easily after a nearly four-hour debate that pitted small-scale “garden” growers against advocates of a bigger, industrial system that would become a “Silicon Valley” of pot.”This is going to grow as an industry. And someone is going to have a high-tech producer,” Council Member Jean Quan said during the debate.
Man, those Farmer’s Markets are gonna be off the chains! Now if they could just work on the whole “dudes in town for job interview getting killed for $17″ thing, not to mention that “old guys getting punched to death for trying to stick up for their son” thing, they might really have something. Also, let me be the first to suggest that the Oakland A’s become the Oakland J’s. They wouldn’t even have to change their colors mayne!
Rioting these days is so passe. In my day, we only rioted when some dude got beat up by the cops or when capitalist powers tried to enslave the global population in an untenable economic model based on artificial scarcity. You know, important shit. But these days, people will riot over just about anything. We had a couple riots in Chico last year, just because people felt like it; maybe they’d seen people do it on TV and wanted to try it out, who knows? But probably the stupidest variety of riot currently en vogue is the “Victory Riot” where fans of a sports team who just won a championship take it upon themselves to celebrate in the form of rioting in the streets of their home city. “YAY OUR TEAM WON, WOOHOO I LOVE THIS CITY! LET’S BURN IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!” Such was the case in LA last night, following the Lakers’ victory over the Celtics in the NBA Finals. Even though Police were expecting a riot, and showed up in what they thought was sufficient numbers, fans rioted anyway:
Crowds hurled bottles and other objects at police, smashed marquees, jumped on vehicles, broke windows, and set rubbish dumpsters and vehicles on fire along Figueroa Street north of Staples Center and on Flower Street.
Police fired non-lethal rounds to disperse the crowd at Figueroa and Venice Boulevard after several small fires were set, as well as at 11th and Hope streets. At 7th and Flower, a car believed to be a taxicab was engulfed in flames.
It being 2010 and all, there was also, of course, copious video footage of the riots, including this one showing police trying to disperse the crowd with tear gas:
The best, however, is this description, from the LA Times, of the dialog taking place in the heart of these riots, evincing the sheer passion at play in the heart of the rioting:
A group of overzealous fans began smashing the windows of a black Honda and trying to turn it over. Others protested the violence: “You isn’t from L.A.! This is L.A. No burning!” one person in a Kobe Bryant jersey shouted. The YMCA at 11th and Olive Street was vandalized as taggers marked graffiti up and down the side of a wall. Another person upended a traffic sign and bashed in several windows. That was too much for two men. “It’s getting too hot, dog,” one of them said to his friend. “Let’s bounce!”
Yeah dog, it was definitely getting too hot. We’re all gonna be sorry, next time we actually have something worth rioting about, no one’s gonna pay attention. And that’s exactly what THEY want…
Remember those bygone days, when you slapped a cop and they slapped you back? Man those were the DAYS. Unfortunately, police in America now have to adhere to all sorts of rules and regulations and only beat people when they think no one’s looking. In Romania however, cops still don’t take lip from the likes of you. And before you feel too bad for the woman in the video, apparently she was apparently a teacher suspected of molesting her students, so she probably deserved it. Plus as a dude who wears glasses, get the glasses slapped off your face is like one step removed from getting kicked in the balls. That shit is definitely NOT COOL.
What the fuck is wrong with Philadelphia Phillies fans? I mean, other than the fact that they root for the Phillies who haven’t been cool since…well really ever. But lately, people in Philadelphia, recently voted the least attractive people in America, haven’t been satisfied with merely rooting for their team; they’ve decided to heap shame upon the city in which America was born by doing crazy ass shit in the stands. First was the dude who intentionally threw up on a police officer and his kid:
“It was the most vile, disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been a cop for 20 years,” Easton Police Capt. Michael Vangelo told the Philadelphia Daily News. Vangelo said Clemmens also struck him in the head several times. Vangelo said he complained to security about cursing and spitting by Clemmens and a friend. When the friend was escorted out of the park, Vangelo said, Clemmens “leaned over and put two fingers down his throat” and then “started vomiting on us.” Philadelphia police spokesman Lt. Frank Vanore said Clemmens fought with police and “threw up on one officer” before being removed.“I was just a dad with my kids enjoying a game,” Vangelo said. “I never experienced anything like that before.”
Steve Consalvi, a high school senior from Boyertown, leapt onto the field at the top of the eighth inning during Monday night’s game against St. Louis. He ran around in the outfield, waving a white towel, and dodged two security officers.The police officer chased him for about 30 seconds before the stun gun probe hit the teenager, who stumbled forward, slid face-first on the grass and stayed down for about 30 seconds before standing up and walking off the field.“From the preliminary look at it, it appears that the officer was within the policy,” said Vanore, adding that he did not know what may have transpired before the video started. “He was attempting to make an arrest and the male was attempting to flee.”
Now, of course, the “national conversation” is about the use of tasers and whether the police “went too far” and not why stupid ass people always try to run out on the field and do stupid ass shit then cry about it when a cop gets pissed and pwns them with a taser. That kid will probably sue the cops, settle for lower six-figures and spend the rest of his life happy as a motherfucker, eating cheesesteaks and watching Rocky and whatever the fuck people in Philadelphia do.
