All about chicks, man.
We joined forces this past week with the lovely ladies of Lulus.com for our annual Holiday Party, and as expected the beer flowed like wine and the women flocked like the salmon of Capistrano. Check the pics after the jump if you’re the kind of guy who checks pics after jumps [click to continue…]
So three things we usually could care less about: JC Penney, Little Girls and Justin Bieber (except when he’s got the Obey Snapback on, natch) have combined to make an unfortunate if not somewhat lol-inducing story. One of JC Penney’s “hot” back to school items was this long sleeved shirt, aimed at girls age 7-16 that proclaimed, proudly “I’m too pretty to do homework, so my brother has to do it for me.” Better yet, the product’s description read, in part, “Who has time to do homework when there’s a new Justin Bieber album out.” Cue internet shitstorm:
Soon after the shirt went online, outraged customers began making noise, and the online petition website Change.org put up a notice with the message: “Stop selling clothing with sexist messages for girls.” As of midday, more than 1,600 people had signed a petition addressed to JCPenney Chairman and CEO Mike Ulman III: “Under the guise of being ‘cute,’ J.C. Penney is promoting merchandise that encourages girls to value looks over brains; to leave academics to the boys, and to aspire to nothing more than fawning after Justin Bieber,” it read. Those who signed the petition renounced the “too pretty to do homework” message and pledged not to shop at JCPenney anymore. One woman going by the handle Aunti Kincade wrote: “Why would I buy something so stupid as this T-shirt for my smart, brilliant granddaughters? It is ignorant — and so is the buyer who thought it was cute! Wake up JCP. It’s 2011, not 1911!”
The best part though:
Ironically, given the message on the hackle-raising shirt, it comes from a brand called Self Esteem
Dear Women
If you do this, stop. Not only do you look like a duck, but you also look like an idiot.
Sincerely,
Men
Since it’s been a week or two since she was on trial for something, the celebrity gossip world had turned it’s attention to more important matters like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s lovechildren and Justin Bieber’s shirtless escapades. But Lindsay’s no dummy; she knows the quickest way to a blogger’s heart is good old “accidental” nudity. First she stood at the edge of a balcony, apparently oblivious to the camera pool directly below here, and exhibited what appeared to be the conspicuous absence of underpants (NSFW version: here). But superstardom is not built on upskirts alone, so yesterday Lohan took to the beach to give the assembled group of photogs a good look at her increasingly decent rack, and played the part of the unfortunate victim when a rogue wave exposed one of her freckled friends (NSFW version at Egotastic here). And voila, just like that she’s famous again. If only it were easy for guys to do the same kind of shit; unfortunately the “dick slip” is a vastly more complicated maneuver.
So it turns out that Tanner Tousignant, the child everyone had fingered yesterday as the illegitimate child former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had fathered with a member of his household staff, was actually just the old illegitimate child Schwarzenegger had fathered with a member of his staff. The newest bastard child is apparently the kid (who bears a rather striking likeness to the Terminator Sperminator) pictured above with his mother, Mildred “Patty” Baena, Schwarzenegger’s former housekeeper. Just to make it clear: Arnold Schwarzenegger risked EVERYTHING, his political ambitions, his marriage, his family, to fuck a housecleaner named Mildred with Jack-Nicholson-as-the-Joker plastic surgery, big time fronbutt and basically no sexually redeeming characteristics whatsoever. Mildred makes Monica Lewinsky look like Cindy Crawford (sorry about the double ’90s references). I mean I know Maria Shriver isn’t exactly making dicks stand at attention with her Skeletor-esque countenance, but Mildred? Really? Hopefully someone can post some pictures of Mildred in her prime and prove me wrong. Otherwise my entire worldview has been shattered.
Everybody knows that American Apparel CEO Dov Charney is a pervert of the highest order, but on the off chance that you weren’t convinced, a participant in a recent American Apparel web seminar took this revealing screenshot of Charney’s desktop. Among the interesting tidbits visible in this screenshot: bookmarks to pornstar Kelly Kline’s website, a bookmark to TEN.com a members-only porn site, and a mysterious bookmark labeled “good hookers” which one presumes probably points to a website upon which one with enough money could procure themselves a “good hooker”. Charney’s desktop also included over 20,000 unread e-mail messages, most of which are probably porn and hooker related SPAM. Check the full size image to see the intrigue for yourself.
[Image: Gawker]
According to Esquire magazine, 30 Rock star Katrina Bowden is currenty the “sexiest woman alive.” I guess by sexiest woman alive they mean young, blonde, skinny, decent looking in a “it’s Thursday night and theres really not a whole lot to choose from” kind of way and still not quite famous enough to not pose for somewhat risque underwear photos. But really though, I could walk into the nearest college classroom and pull out at least three women that are sexier than Katrina Bowden. Actually let me rephrase that: I could walk into the nearest college classroom and spot, with furtive, sideward glances, at least three women sexier than Katrina Bowden and then secretly pine over them alone in my bedroom while listening to every Dashboard Confessional record and masturbating with my own tears as lube, but you get the point. Also not saying I wouldn’t. But sexiest alive? There’s a lot of alive women out there, man.
Danish director Lars Von Trier is known stateside as the guy who directed that crazy Bjork movie Dancer in the Dark and the even crazier Nicole Kidman movie Dogville which was shot almost entirely on an empty stage with drawn-on outlines of things, instead of, you know, actual things like in most movies. He’s back again with a somewhat less crazy, but still bizarre movie called “Melancholia” starring Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg and Kiefer Sutherland. The movie involves a planet colliding, and ultimately destroying the earth. Heavy shit. But the somewhat NSFW trailer also features a couple shots of Kirsten Dunst nude which makes it worth watching even if you don’t really dig weird foreign movies. There’s currently no American release date for Melancholia, but it will doubtlessly make its way over here at some point, since Americans will sit through anything to catch a glimpse of semi-famous actresses in some manner of undress (Black Swan anyone?)
A couple days ago there was a Victoria’s Secret event in LA and one of the pictures of one of their models, the wraith-like Candice Swanepoel (in the middle) apparently so appalled the sensibilities of the suddenly body-image conscious Victoria’s Secret that Swanpoel might get relieved of her angel wings:
It was markedly apparent on Wednesday, when the once curvy South African hottie revealed her newly skeletal frame at an L.A. fashion shoot at the Mondrian Hotel wearing tiger print bottoms and a black bra. Just two months ago, a much healthier Swanepoel posed as the face of the lingerie house’s Valentine’s Day campaign. Her weight loss since has been dramatic. And now, a fashion insider close to the Victoria’s Secret models tells us that Swanepoel’s future with the company is in jeopardy.
Yeah because Victoria’s Secret would hate to foster an unrealistic standard of what women should look like. What with the internet and all, kids these days probably don’t even need to masturbate to the Victoria’s Secret catalogs anymore anyway, so who cares who they put in there? Women certainly don’t. They would still buy that shit even if their models were wax figures of transvestites.
