I really don’t understand why all of a sudden Betty White is the fucking coolest shit in the world. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I liked Golden Girls as much as the next ’80s kid. It was a decent show about a bunch of old ladies who got banged a lot more than I’d like to think either my grandmas ever did by a bunch old dudes, did a lot of marginally humorous old lady shit and then thankfully fucked off into obscurity. Then, magically, 25 some odd years later, somehow everyone is getting a giant boner for Betty White. “But dude, it’s soooo crazy that she’s, like, old, but is, like, totally hip! She even says bad words LOL!” Well yeah, she may be old as dirt but she’s not dumb. She’s a show business professional. She saw her window, played along and now she’s hosting SNL, getting facetime on every morning and late-night talk show around and being celebrated by every hipster and shithead in the world as being some sort of comedic genius. And while I admire her for her tenacity, I have better things to do with my time than wait for an old lady to say something crazy. If I wanted to do that shit I’d get a job wiping asses at the convalescent home. I’m not age-ist, I just don’t like stupid ass shit.
